Mood:Tears
Song of Choice:"No rain" orignially by Blind Melon but sung by Josh Estes from Lunch
Topic: Wounded Hearts Tears
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 2 Day and 1 Week
Days Until 4 Day Weekend:8
Days Until Spring Break: 73
Wounded Hearts Tears
There are some things in the world that will never make sense to me…
Today Josh came back to school he hadn’t been in about 3 days but he came back. They dragged him down to the office and searched him they found a leaf or some tobacco crumbs on him they weren’t even fresh they were weeks old like lint from the dryer. At lunch he came outside with me and found me sitting where I do everyday…he’d never seen me there before or so I thought…he told me about the search the interrogation how I probably wouldn’t see him again until net week Thursday if that. So we talked and talked about some heavy things he sang some…we talked about the past the future things of that nature…he told me that the three days he was gone he watch with Binoculars the ramp were I had lunch everyday alone watched Jonnell too and watched us after school when we stood and waited for the bus….it made me want to cry the fact that when I felt absolutely abandoned someone was watching out for me even if it was from very very far away…and the bell rand and lunch was over. At that moment I seriously thought about skipping and just staying with him. But he hugged me and that was my signal to get myself to class. He walked me there and then Dean the principal found him and came down on him. I left Josh there I felt guilty that it was walking me to class that he got caught I felt guilty that I didn’t stay and stick up for Josh…but I don’t think Josh would have wanted me there…seeing Dean talk down to him…plus I think I would have distracted Josh from his….verbal defense and story weaving.
Then the icing on the cake was when I got home I cried and my mom found me and she asked me what was wrong and when I explained what happened she gave me this stupid lecture how I shouldn’t feel responsible at all and all this crap and I snapped. I told her I had no use for that lecture about how drugs are wrong because I gave it everyday that I’m not dealing with that crap Josh does drugs and that’s him but he’s my friend and I don’t judge him for it so I’m dealing with loosing one of my friends I’m dealing with the possibility that they will kick him out of school and he won’t be there anymore when he’s one of the very few people that I can talk to and feel safe with and then you come and tell me this what for? She sent me to my room and I went yeah that’s what I expected that’s why I don’t tell you things…she came in a little while ago and acted like nothing happened and I played along too because it’s easier to put on a mask then deal with the truth.
I just don’t understand…there are some things in the world that will never make sense to me…
Song of Choice:"No rain" orignially by Blind Melon but sung by Josh Estes from Lunch
Topic: Wounded Hearts Tears
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 2 Day and 1 Week
Days Until 4 Day Weekend:8
Days Until Spring Break: 73
Wounded Hearts Tears
There are some things in the world that will never make sense to me…
Today Josh came back to school he hadn’t been in about 3 days but he came back. They dragged him down to the office and searched him they found a leaf or some tobacco crumbs on him they weren’t even fresh they were weeks old like lint from the dryer. At lunch he came outside with me and found me sitting where I do everyday…he’d never seen me there before or so I thought…he told me about the search the interrogation how I probably wouldn’t see him again until net week Thursday if that. So we talked and talked about some heavy things he sang some…we talked about the past the future things of that nature…he told me that the three days he was gone he watch with Binoculars the ramp were I had lunch everyday alone watched Jonnell too and watched us after school when we stood and waited for the bus….it made me want to cry the fact that when I felt absolutely abandoned someone was watching out for me even if it was from very very far away…and the bell rand and lunch was over. At that moment I seriously thought about skipping and just staying with him. But he hugged me and that was my signal to get myself to class. He walked me there and then Dean the principal found him and came down on him. I left Josh there I felt guilty that it was walking me to class that he got caught I felt guilty that I didn’t stay and stick up for Josh…but I don’t think Josh would have wanted me there…seeing Dean talk down to him…plus I think I would have distracted Josh from his….verbal defense and story weaving.
Then the icing on the cake was when I got home I cried and my mom found me and she asked me what was wrong and when I explained what happened she gave me this stupid lecture how I shouldn’t feel responsible at all and all this crap and I snapped. I told her I had no use for that lecture about how drugs are wrong because I gave it everyday that I’m not dealing with that crap Josh does drugs and that’s him but he’s my friend and I don’t judge him for it so I’m dealing with loosing one of my friends I’m dealing with the possibility that they will kick him out of school and he won’t be there anymore when he’s one of the very few people that I can talk to and feel safe with and then you come and tell me this what for? She sent me to my room and I went yeah that’s what I expected that’s why I don’t tell you things…she came in a little while ago and acted like nothing happened and I played along too because it’s easier to put on a mask then deal with the truth.
I just don’t understand…there are some things in the world that will never make sense to me…
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